Putting out the flames

Fuck. During break yesterday, there was a point whereby i didn't want to hang out with my classmates and ended up sitting in the car. I was so bored, so damn bored. saddening lah, really. Thanks to alvin's suggestion, i decided to head home. Then, isaac called to say he was bored too so, i went over to meet him in sp for lunch since i was craving for pasta. Met leonard and the 3 of us went slacking around places before joining the rest for dinner. Went home, then went to airport with mum to fetch sis.

Today, i skipped class again- the morning one. I think i'm suffering from anti-school something something. I'm tired, really tired of meeting people, trying to see if they are nice, trying to be nice and doing work, so much work. I think deep down, i'm really a little anti-social. I don't have much friends and that's something to prove it. Now, it's 1.27pm and im thinking if i want to go to the afternoon class. Fuck it lah. Alvin at first say go town all that, then say go my house then after that ask me go for class. Also dont know what he's talking about. I don't really know, i'm not in a good mood now. I just want to sleep through the whole month of august.

Fun- is there really an end to it?

What i go to school for?

Nothing much happened today. Went to school and the module was Retail Management. The module is kinda interesting. However, i find that there is no motivation in going to school. 9-6. long hours. the break from 12-3 is going to be so darn freaking boring. I'm just going to be sitting at some corner doing my work till class starts at 3. Relationship with classmate is getting bad... now even val and py realise the gap between us and yan,ethel shiqi. Good thing is i still can talk to val,py&gary. Fuck school lah. Really cannot tahan the fact that im not in the same school as alvin, leonard,weehow,shifu,weiping,ahchow. I rather be in a course i dont like then to be in a course i like and not like the fact that im not happy everyday. how to concentrate?

Many things i want to say, i didn't say. Many things i shouldn't say, i said. I like to act stupid so that you look clever. I like to be the darkness so that you can be my sunshine. Still, i want to let you know that i just meant well.

Oh, i pray that august will fly past and september will come soon.

The light in the darkness.

It's nearing 4 already and i'm feeling hungry and depressed. It's already sunday so it means, it's going to be monday tomorrow. Oh why oh why oh why, 9-6 everyday and the sad thing is the 3 hourse break in between. What the freaking hell am i going to do for that 3 hours considering i'm not on good terms with my classmates? Please tell me how to survive it.

I have to say, i had fun for the past 2 days. I also realised that i'm the kind of person who like to throw hopes into one whole big bag and still hope that the bag doesn't tear. It's like a investment you know but whereby you throw all your money in on just one thing. Aiya, just get what i mean. Even for family and friends. I select certain people who i believe will bring me happiness and i just put all my hopes on them because i believe that the only thing i can do is to believe that happiness would bring happiness.

I very much want to replay things and press the pause button. I want the past, not the future. I'm so freaking hungry now but no one is available to have lunch with me. Im always filled with envy. I still have so much housework to do before fetching my dad and mum from the airport later. Wait, it's 3.53pm already yet why hasn't my mum called?

Yet i still feel happy.

Last night, i had such a good dream. I dreamt that i finally went under the knife for my face and i looked so good. I look handsome, i look hot but the most important thing was that i looked happy. I can't wait for it to come true.

No class today. Slept till 10 as it was raining. Went to SP to look for alv and leo. Then went to town and the shop still dont want to open. Wh joined us and we went to paragon for awhile before going to cf house for mj. Lost 50 today. cool right? hahah. I still feel happy, dont know why. Oh wait i know why, because i get to spend the day with the few people that makes my life so worth it. I can't wait till tmr evening. Finally i get to watch dark knight. :)

Mum,dad and sis are going to hongkong tmr. Gonna miss them.

I try my best to be your best.

Sis was nice enough to send me to school today. Yet, i dont feel that thankful. She haven't been a nice sister and i don't see the need to become a good brother.

Consultation, followed by a little of project discussion. My job is to just design, illustrate, find the pantone colours & locate fabric samples. It's the simplest thing to do in the group as my group mates know that i don't have the habit of doing much.

Didn't have anything to do after that so i went to town alone. Shopped alone and waited for a shop to open. It wasn't open when i got there and i decided to wait because my mum doesn't want me to go home yet as she is doing housework and no one else was free to go out with me. Decided to practise the dental thing while waiting. Still, the shop didn't open. Went home. Went to alvin's house to play mj for awhile before going home. Nowadays, i've got a habit to buy food from chomp chomp for supper. Good, eat and sleep. Good.

I'm always looking forward to weekends because i'll know that i'll be having lots of fun with my friends. I have no idea why, i'm always very excited and happy whenever i'm going to sp. It's like going to school with friends. I hope tomorrow will be a happy day.

When i was lonely, time flew by so slowly. I was supposed to be sad but yet i felt happy. Why? It's because its the first time i felt that time started walking.

What to do to make you happy?

Like Lovers do, on Silver Screens.

Yesterday, went to celebrate grand dad's birthday at tamp Safra. Thing is, through out the whole dinner, i didnt even say happy birthday to him. hmm...

After that, wanted to watch Dark Knight with Cousins but it was already sold out islandwide by the time we got to the ticket booth. So, 2 cars went up to Dempsey Hill just to have Ben & Jerry's. Had a little depressing chat about the world and terrorists. After that the topic went to something more lightening like MediaCorp & our childhood and future. After that, had prata and went home.

School was okay today. only half an hour. Then, headed to town with group mates to do project on Ralph Lauren. Then shopped at far east till 4+ before going to jurong. Went there too early so i ended up sitting alone for an hour plus. Damn boring i tell you. So depressing yet i have to hang in there. 1.2k okay? i need the money to pump petrol. I want to have money so that i can go out with my friends. I NEED THE MONEY.

The job training was just bullshit. waste time and i shall not elaborate.

I'm like a fallen leave; I go wherever the wind goes, till the moment when i finally reach the ground, i'll know it's the end of the road.

It will always be so sunny when you're there.

Then and again, i'm feeling so happy. All because of the wonderful times that are spent with the most wonderful people.On fri, i went to leo's house early in the morning to get the car. Really have to thank him and his family for being such nice people. Then, while sending leo to the mrt, peiyun sms-ed me that there'll be no class. Damn. Got up so early, got ready and then they tell me no class. Nvm, still went to school with pearlyn to hand in the stitch seam book. Had breakfast with her before leaving for alvin's house. Went to SP with him to meet the SP guys. Crashed their gem course again and still, i think it's damn fun.

Chionged to marina square to shop, before going to bugis then to heeren then to taka. So, we kinda toured the whole of orchard and parked at 4 different carparks. Cool right? Met siying pearlyn kellyn & peiwen for a while. After that, went to chomp chomp to da pao dinner.Then went home to change before going to alvin's house for dinner. Then, went to leo's house for overnight mahjong. Yeap, went home at 6am.

Then, last night, went to leo's house to get the car again. Isaac,leo,alvin,weehow and i went to clarke quay to look for pearlyn weiting stanley and cheefai. Slacked at Clinic for a couple of hourse before going home. I love my life now.

Though, the coming week is going to be filled with alot of work. The final week of module is here. Then there's the Colgate training. The pay is still so tempting yet the weekends will be gone. Damn, i hope that i'll have lots of fun on the next week end.

What the fuck.

I'm currently in a pissed off mood now so yeah, this is gonna be a pissed off post. Firstly, my brother and his girlfriend are sitting at the dining table eating MacDonald's - the one that my mum and i just bought back for them. My brother, who is a prince is currently complaining about why his burger has mayo when he already told my mother he doesn't want it. They are now scraping off the mayo with a knife and indirectly telling my mum she didn't do a good job. Fuck.

Secondly, i don't know why the fuck am i in this mood now. It is a saturday night god damn it. It's 10.36pm now and i had plans to go out for a night of fun. Quarreled with alvin because of a misunderstanding but i wouldnt say it's because of this that i decided not to go. Partly though. He says that i never admit my mistakes and told me to do some reflection. I never admit my mistakes? Wow. Nevermind, i dont want to elaborate any further because alvin might get the wrong thinking. I'm not angry with him about him or whatever but i just don't like misunderstandings.

Thirdly, I dont have a car. Why don't i have a car? Why do my sister have a car and not me? Fuck lah. I want a car.

Fourthly, I don't know why, i try my best to be the best but i know i'll never be the best. I should seriously stop trying to be the best. I still want plastic surgery. Before i die, i want to feel good. I dont want any mother fuckers to call me ugly anymore.

Lastly, yes, finally, I still feel damn fucked up.

Why so serious?

I've GOT to get the FCUK limited edition shirts of the Joker. I've GOT to watch Batman: The Dark Knight because it's the last completed movie Heath Ledger is in.

I have so many stuffs to buy yet, my bank account is running so low i'm getting worried. I still need to buy car one leh. So, should i get the Colgate's job? Thing is, i really dont want to work if alvin dont want to work. I dont know lah, quite vexed. This is why i wish i was filthy rich.

Perfect Cut gave me a new reason to watch again tomorrow. Pan Ling Ling, one of my utmost favourite in Mediacorp is going to guest star. Cool.

I'm so excited about tomorrow. I hope nothing bad happens please........

I just had dinner and im fucking hungry now. Why ah?

Lol.

Wow, i need to work on the excuses i give nowadays. This morning i overslept and my mum asked me why didnt i go to school and i replied her :" i forgot to go to school". Who ever forgets to go to school? hahah.

No one holds a light and hides it behind a door. For the purpose of light is to create more light, to overthrow darkness and bring hope to people.

:)

Saw this on friendster and decided to do it. Did it on Alvin only though. Some questions missing cos i think not worth my time. yeah

1) What's his/her full name?

Alvin Chan Ming Fa

2) Does he or she have a bf/gf?

Lol. No.

3) Do you know a secret about him/her?

I think so.

4) How old is the person?

Coming to 18.

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
yeap, the best maggie mee i've ever tasted.

6) Is this person older than you?
Dont have to bother answering right?


8) When was the last time you thought about him/her?
I'm talking to him on msn now.


9) Are you related to this person?
nope.

10) Are you really close to him/her?
I suppose so. Eh alvin, close or not?

11) Do you have a nickname for each other?
not really.

13)How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
too many times. hahah. everyday i swear!

14) Do you think she/he will repost
this?
I'm not even featured on his friends list lah!

15) Could you live with this person?
No, he will finish all my food. lol, no lah of course can live lah. then can spankwire together.

16) Why is this person your number 1?
He is not the only number 1 lah but yeah, knowing him is wonderful.

20) Have you ever had a sleep over with him
Mahjong count or not?

21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
Of course lah.

22) Have you ever given this person something?
dont know leh.

23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
Illegal... he littered and i didnt report it.

24) Do you know everything about this person?
I think so..

25) Would you date this person's
Maybe the second sis.

27) Do you miss him/her?
Now? no.

28) Have you fought before?
There hasnt been any serious fights before.

29) Have you gone skinny dipping with him/her?
Good question. no.

30) Does this person have a fetish?
Lol. its a secret.

31) Is she/he on drugs?
Nope.

32) Do you know this person's shoe size?
11-12?

33) Have you ever worn this person's clothes?
Nope.

34) Have you and this person made up a hand shake?
Nope, its stupid.

35) If it was "freaky friday" would you switch bodies with this person?
Yeah, i'll see how its like to be heavy and check if he is lying about his powerful something.

36) Has this person ever seen you dance?
yeah, he wouldnt want to see it again.

37) Have you ever heard this person sing?
Who hasnt?

39) Do you know this persons friendster password?
gosh, i keep forgetting.

40) Do you know this persons best friend?
He has too many best friends and, a breast friend

41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
Quarrels never last more than 5 mins.

42) Does this person cry alot?
No.

43)Have you met any of this person's family?
"cute baby ah"

45) Do you know how to make this person feel happy?
I think so.

46) Do you and this person talk a lot?
abit too much for a guy.

47) Have you licked this person?
No, and i never want to.

48)Have this person ever yelled at you?
Too many times.

50) Do you love this person?
Love? if you get what i mean, yes.

51) Do you want to be with him/her forever?
Forever is too long but yeah, i'll want to be his friend for that long.

Green with Envy

Still, i wish i could be rich, handsome and have a great body.

Nothing much to elaborate on about this morning. Class ended early again today. After that went to meet weehow at hg mall before meeting alv and going to leo's house for mahjong. Mahjong sessions with them are usually fun. hahah. won much today, glad that luck's on my side today. Leo's grandma is so nice and hearty unlike my grandma. hmm..

I think Perfect Cut is so so only, the more i watch it the more i think it suck. There isnt anything appealing anymore and they have to step up their game to keep people watching. Acting skills are already bad, not to mention storylines. Oh, i just saw the trailer for tomorrow and Yvonne Lim is gonna be in it and im excited. I've always been a fan of hers.

Dont really know what to say already. Never really knew what to say.

Always be my baby

The feeling so is weird. It's really so damn weird.

I'm hooked to the song, cant smile without you. Today, i thought why people get into quarrels and fights? Everyone is a child of someone and they are a friend of someone. It's like if other people pick a fight with your friend, you will defend him or her and vice versa. So why are there fights? I dont know what im saying but i hope you get what i mean.

I feel so vexed now. The feeling of wanting something you'll never get makes your heart burn with itch. You can't sleep or eat right, you cant think right and you cant do anything right. It's time to give up and move on.

Do you want to be friends? again?

I feel glad when you're glad, i feel sad when you're sad.

The one thing i liked about Hellboy is the song, Can't smile without you - Barry Manilow. Hell boy was a little draggy but other than that, it still makes a good action flick.

Went to vist grands this morning. Over to parkway parade later on with mum,aunt and cousin. Had a haircut and the barber was nice and friendly. Funny thing was that he thinks im not very ugly and im quite manly. Well, at least i like my hair. He says that people like us (designer/hairstylist) usually cannot make it big in singapore. I agree. Had tea with them before going over to amk hub for hellboy.

You came along just like a song.

Rain rain, don't go away.

Played mahjong again in the end at leo's house. Dont know what to say already.

Sometimes when i feel happy for a long time, i'll feel scared. I know that i won't be happy for too long. I can't be happy for too long. This is destiny. The unhappy times would definitely come. However, life is like a rollercoaster- it has ups and downs. Without ups, there wont be downs and vice versa. What goes around comes around. Okay, im going to gardens to get dessert. bye.

Everything i do, i do it for you.

Love me, that's all i ask of you.

It's a sunday evening. I'm bored, very bored. Can't find a place to go. Singapore is way too small and there aren't any interesting places. Class is cancelled tomorrow and this should be an opportunity to go out but, the rest of them have classes tomorrow. So how? die lor. Haven't even eaten anything the whole day yet i dont feel hungry. The boredom is killing me. Darn.

Grand Copthorne

Went to cousin Jermaine's 13th birthday yesterday afternoon at downtown east. The place was rather big and cool but, only 4 of her friends came. She was feeling a little down but managed to be able to enjoy it in the end. Relatives were there too. Spent my time playing the kiddish racing car game. After that, cake cutting and off we go.

Went home to change before meeting alv and cf at alv's house. Alv's dad fetched us to Grand Copthorne for the Serangoon Sec Anniversary. Not many students were there due to the price. There were many older bunch of people. Good thing about the dinner was seeing the people of 5n2 and also the teachers. Secondary School life was still the best. Agree?

After that. mahjong the whole night at Alv's house. That's about it.

I told myself not to care but still, i did.

3 singles, 1 attached.

Just came home from grapevine. Had a long day today but it was rather fun. Crashed SP, had "gems" with the guys. Know your rights. hahha. It's a cool course about the law. After that, decided to go town just for alittle walk. Went for the Colgate Interview with Alv Pearl & Dru relunctantly but it turned out fine, or should i say rather well in the end. The guy in charged named me most professional and convincing speaker. I think he must be blind, deaf of both. lol. i thought i cmi alrd after i spoke. Pay is 10 per hour - the only wow point. Met up with siying & kellyn for awhile before going to grapevine. enjoyed the time we had. Tmr, it will be cousin's birthday, mahjong then we'll decide if we want to go to the annual dinner. Leo suggested that i drive and get the clique to go some place to slack. tempting. hahah.

okay, the tagboard stuffs are kinda bothering me already. hey guys i chatted with Charmaine on msn last night and we sort things out already. She accepted my apology and this thing is officially over although i can't stop you guys from saying anything cos' you're free to do so.

Thanks to Poovan, Alv & Anon. Oh yeah, weiping you just made a guest appearance. hahah.

Perfect Cut, sure or not?

Watching Perfect Cut. It does feel a little weird to be watching such a show in singapore. It's something like Nip/Tuck and it's cool. Wow, this girl just said something cool yet, mean. Alvin says the nosejob looks freaking disgusting and i do have to agree. It looks painful and disgusting but then and again, i'll still go under the knife. Have you seen my picture in pearlyn's blog? wah lao eh, freaking ugly lah. I dont mind the pain, i just want to look good.

The charmaine thing is still bothering me. Alvin says i have more enemies now but i dont like enemies, i never liked having enemies.Jacintha just text me about it and i found out charamaine is her friend too even fran knows about it. I just hope that these people would accept my apology. Okay, saying anything further wouldnt sound sincere anymore. Anyway, sorry again and to issey if you're reading,sorry dude.

Everyone wishes for a light that never goes out.

Sorry man, my bad.

I just saw my tagboard. wanna say that i didnt judge anyone. Yeah i just think that issey's girlfriend aint hot but thats the photos. My friend knows her and told me she looks good in person. So i feel that i owe Charmaine a apology. Sorry to have offended anyone though.

An empty room can be so loud.

Class ended at 10 today. amazing right? Not really. Stayed behind to finish up the project due tomorrow. went home at 2. Slacked at home and worked out for alittle while before going out for another round of mahjong. Have been feeling kinda lucky nowadays. won another 20. I suppose Green is my lucky colour. lol.

Did nothing much really. Went for dinner with chow and alvin before passing leo something then went home.

Before i blog, there were many things i had to say. However, i cant remember what now. Goodnight.

In my dreams, you said to me : " hey baby, everything's all right now".

13-1

The past few days can be described by 3 words- FUN FUN FUN. yeah, i think im enjoying life now. I didnt think about classes, schools or homework. I just met up with friends and played played played. Well, mostly played mahjong. Been winning for the past 2 days which is good. Did another 13-1 today. hahah. cool right?

Right now, i have to go type my 1200 words report on knitted & woven factory. Boring but yeah, you still have to do it man.

I still think im damn paranoid. Why?

May God bless the people in China.

Once i reached home, there was the email of the China earthquake. The sadness and bravery touched my heart. I hope that everything would be fine soon. Then, kellyn and pearlyn sounded so sad, i hope they'd be feeling better. Factory Visit at woodlands today. Didnt know bangalas know how to sew. Realised the cost of a simple Gap tee was $3. Alvin sms-ed me during class. He sounded really sian. Yeah, studying can be really boring. However, what keeps me moving is the fact that i'd be seeing my friends at the later part of the day. I have to tell myself it's worth it. The end of the day would be rewarding. Always look forward.

Hancock, not so nice. I shan't elaborate. 2/5 - both stars goes to Will Smith and Charlize Theron.

I try to be cool ; Cool enough for you.

When i told the world a joke, the world started laughing. I was happy till i realised that the world was laughing at me.

I'm still trying to find the purpose in life. I think that everyone has a different view of life yet they have a similar goal ; No matter who they are, where they are, their goal is to live life to the fullest.

Right now, my friends are the ones that keep me going.

Only i will understand.

It's 10.45pm now. Tomorrow, it's monday again. Apparel Manufacturing Process is a rather dry subject. However, the interesting parts would be that my lecturer telling us why its not worth buying a non-leather Louis Vuitton Bag,how cheapskate is Topshop and Forever 21. How to see which product is worth the money. It'll kind of help during shopping.

The other day, i saw this middle-aged guy who was androgynous and he was talking about Giorgio Armani and all. Looking at him was like looking into the mirror that tells you your future. That was the moment whereby i thought to myself ; "Do i want to be like him in 20 years?". Yeah, the answer is no. I still think girly guys are really weird. I dont want to be weird.

If i have the money, i'd publish a fashion magazine that caters to teenage boys.

Fashion aint my cup of tea. I dont change as fast as it does.

The Life like no other.

Yesterday, i would call it one of the happiest day of my current life. Yeap. Went to NP for andy's party. I wouldnt elaborate much as alvin's blog has everything. I'm not in the condition to type so much now as im coughing blood and having a running nose at the same time.
After that, went to many other places and did many other things. It was the first ever mid-night outing with the bunch of them and it was really cool. okay too much blood. byebye

Lim Siang Heng aka Dillon

Happy Birthday to Lim Siang Heng. The guy who made my secondary class-room days oh so wonderful. I dont really have much to say cos i usually have already said it. You get what i mean lah. Hahaha. Take care man. :D

My Current Obsession 2

Okay, im not yet asleep so i suppose i shall do this now.

List of people i know that i think, still can make it.(of course face lah)

Friendster -
Boys (not in any order)
= Issey Lim
=Leonard Kwek
=Daryl Loh
=Jeremy Chua
=Okay, i'm actually stucked. I dont find any others in my list of guys who can make it. Either i have too little friends or sg guys just dont have what it takes.

Girls (not in any order)
=Ishwinder Kaur
=Pearlyn Chua
=Shisei Lim
=Kellyn Wee
=Vanda Seetoh
=Sharlane
=Vivian Koh
=Hahah, more hot girls than hot guys.

Current i dont really know them craze.
Boys
=Jonas Brothers
=Kevin Zegers
=Emile Hirsch
=Fernando Torres


Girls
=Anne Hathaway
=Torres' Girlfriend
=Emma Watson
=Victoria Beckham
=Blake Lively
=Miley Cyrus

Yup,thats about it. Agree with me?

Actually, if you were to ask me out of the whole list, who would i choose to spend the rest of my life with? It would have to be ishwinder. She wouldnt be reading this thats why i would say it. She is the most wonderful woman ive ever met and she makes my heart skip like never before every single time i see her. She makes me laugh and makes me feel confident as myself. A great friend . Someday, i hope that our paths will meet again.

My Current Obsession

My current aim would be to get in shape. Eat more, excercise more and drink more protein shakes. Yucky but helpful.

Long-term aim is to get plastic surgery. Yeah, i still think i'm not very happy with how i look. No matter what others think, i still know that i'll be much happier after surgery.

When you're bored at home , you just come up with weird stuffs. I have an idea, to look up all my friendster connections and come up with a list of the hottest people i know. I'll probably do that tomorrow cos' im feeling really sleepy now.

Just saw Issey's profile in th afternoon. Im sad to say that such an handsome lad is going out with a not so pretty girl. Haven't seen them together? Go to the link man.

Fernando's girlfriend is ohlala HOT.

Naked truth.

Well, life will be boring if you don't find anything to do. So, for guys there's always something to do with the internet. I'm not saying what it is so guess it with your mind. Class ended freaking early today. So darn happy. Went for a little workout and swim before slacking at home. Magazine reading has become a part and parcel of my life. Alvin forgot his house key so he came to my house first. Played mahjong again :( After that went to hospital to visit his mom and have dinner. His mom had an operation today to remove her gall bladders. Glad that she's find now. Back home now, facing my computer, thinking if i should go to sleep.

Pete Wentz kissed a guy and he liked it. - The world is everchanging.

Oh, i spotted a fallen angel.

My God, have you watched the Finals of Euro Cup that night?! If you didnt, then siao liao, you just missed out on watching an angel play football. This arsehole plays so well, looks so good and has a heck of a smile. I so want his bloody face, not to mention body.

Fernando Torres aka Nando Boy aka El Nino.

Two words : Fucking Hot.

His girlfriend who has a weird name met each other since they were 8. How sweet.