Rosewood

I didn't know where to go, i didn't know who to call. I didn't know what to do.

Because i dont like my life.

I live in a condo but i freaking sleep in the living room. There i am trying to sleep, some stranger is watching tv in front of me. There i am trying to sleep, some one is happily munching beside me. There i am trying to draw, some one is making so much noise i can't concentrate. I'm the one without the room and i'm also the one without the car. Now my parents wants me to get a fucking cert from U. My sister lives the life of a princess and now wants to give up studies to go work in Campus Crusade, straining the relationship of the family more and also earning 1.2k per month. Wow woman, like 1.2k is going to pay for your car, shopping and high maintanence life. My brother is going into NS alrd so i have nothing to say. I just hope he will snap out of it when he gets out. Can the heavens give me somthing that i can thank them for? Like probably a handsome face, cash or perhaps in the most simplest way, happiness? Everything around me just seem so fake for god's damn sake.

Okay, i just tried to see how the other side of me is reacting to current life. Well after all the complaints, i feel much better. Alright, i'm going to leave this post here to remind me not to complain because i sound damn bad.

Green is the new black

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO TAN SI YING! I've dont know how much to thank the heavens for letting me know this friend. She is a very wondeful person and brings happiness to wherever she goes.

Maybe i just think too much.

Today & Tomorrow.

I'm damn freaking bored at home now. Seriously damn freaking bored. I have no idea what's wrong but i'm just freaking freaking bored.

Smile and you'll never fall.

Yesterday, the highlight was the celebration of weehow's birthday at Botak Jone's. It wasn't the dinner that was the ultimate; It was the "ice & water" event at the playground. I haven't had such fun for a long long time. It was like childhood-ness all over again.

Chow passed his license today. Went gardens to celebrate. It was rather funny, i didnt know why i could get so high with just one beer. Maybe i just needed to let loose for a moment and forget about whatever is filling up my head. Before that, royston was nice to come over to check out what's wrong with the internet. Apparently, my internet is afraid of him because it behaved very well when he was here. Hahah. Had dinner from chomp chomp and we watched movies (him,alvin&i) before heading for the bus stop.

So, here is something interesting. Currently, in the hollwood teen realm, there are two groups of people in a battle. Hahah.

Team Jonas/Selena/Demi

VS.

Team Miley/Justin/Taylor

Then, there are the friends who are caught in the middle.

Miley was reportedly dumped by Nick Jonas who went for Selena Gomez while Taylor Swift was dumped by Joe Jonas for Camilla Belle. Currently, Miley has stepped up her game with boyfriend - Justin Gaston who is a underwear model. Taylor Swift was reportly very sore about being dumped and is going all out to destroy Joe Jonas. Kevin Jonas, was seen wearing a Tee shirt that says "Team Selena & Demi" on the streets quite some time ago. So, who will win the fued?

Now, as i've said, Joe reportedly ditched Taylor for Camilla. So do you think it was a good thing?

To be frank, i think both of them looks like a cat, pretty ones though. I haven't watched any of Camilla's movies yet so i can't comment on her talents but i'd say i think Taylor's songs are rather nice. I prefer Taylor personally.

As for Nick, who do you think he should have picked?

This is a hard pick. I really like both of them and i think they are both sensational. Oh well, i'd go with Miley because she is a bigger hit at her age compared to Hilary and Lindsay put together. I like to respect the "original".

So, which couple looks hotter? or rather cuter?

*All information given may not be true and is based on my own judgement.

Un-

Un-kissed, Un-embraced, Un-cherished & Un-loved.

I'd very much like not to go to school. I'd very much like to go to roam around bookstores and cd shops. I'd very much like to sit by the poolside, eat muffins and read books. I'd very much like to sit in a theatre all day and watch movies for non-stop.

It's rather saddening, to know that i'll never feel happy. I'll never feel happy because i know that i'm not born into the place i want to be born in. I don't look like the way i want to look. I do not have the life i want to have. Well, i'm not the only person in the world who is experiencing it so i guess there's something called :"live with it, asshole".

However, in life there's something you've got to experience. That would be something called True Love. When you're dying and you have flashbacks of your life, you'd be thinking what was your life about. Was it the money you made? The many times you got promoted? How much sex you had? Or was it the true things that matters, like love and friendship? The smiles of your loved ones, the laughter of friends and the warmth of family. These are the things that truly matter even when you're dead. It is because they would be the ones to remember you in their hearts, allowing you to truly live on. As when we die, we don't really die; We've just moved on and lived in people's memories. You, will decide how you live after you die.

The night was dark, it was as if i was born blind,
Scared and helpless i felt,
I felt around hoping i'd find something,
Anything would be nice,
for nothing is worse than being alone in a place where light no longer exists.
save me, before the night engulfs.

I thought i lost you.

Stevie Wonder - I just called to say i love you.

I just called to say i love you, i just called to say how much i care, i do.

I just called to say i love you, And i mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Miley Cyrus & John Travolta - I thought i lost you.

Nobody listens to me, don’t hear a single thing I've said Say anything to soothe me, anything to get you from my head Don't know how really I feel, Cause it's the faith that makes it like I don't care Don’t know how much it hurts to turn around like you were never there Like somehow you could be the break and I could walk away from the promises we made And swore we’d never break!!

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me I thought I’d never your sweet face again. I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went but I kept the moments that we were in 'Cause I hoped in my heart, that you would come back to me my friend And now I got you, but I thought I lost you!

I felt so empty out there, and there were days I had my doubts but I knew I'd find you somewhere because I knew I couldn't live without you in my life for one more day and I swore I'd never break a promise we made

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me I thought I’d never your sweet face again. I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went but I kept the moments that we were in 'Cause I hoped in my heart, that you would come back to me, my friend And now I got you, but I thought I lost you!

I told myself I wouldn’t sleep 'til I searched the world from sea to sea

I made a wish upon a star, I turned around and there you were

And now here we are, are here we are I thought I lost you

I thought I lost you too.



The song is from the animated movie "Bolt". I saw the synopsis and i think i'm going to watch it. Anybody with me?

Last night was... well, hahah "what a night". Although the place wasnt great, the people there just made me feel very at home.

The light and the water

It's a saturday today. I just came home from my cousin's ROM. Anyway, pretty much stayed home these few days to watch, well, dvds. I wasn't very sure about renting Moulin Rouge but since they didn't have Good Will Hunting, i guess i'd take my chances and go for the "critically acclaimed" film. So, Moulin Rouge actually made it's way to my top 20 films of all time(currently)! It wasn't just any musical; The songs fit in perfectly, Nicole Kidman was just absolutely stunning as Satine and the whole thing was funny at the right time yet ended dramatically touching. After that, i watched Over her Dead Body and The Dangerous lives of the Altar Boys. They are both okay, not bad. Yeap. It's raining now and i absolutely love such a day.

Q & A

Woke up earlier than usual today to go to school. Realised then that the deadline for the project has been postponed to thurs. What a relieve. Spent the whole time in school reading a book. Started and ended on the same day. Q & A. Now a major motion picture named "Slumdog Millionaire". It was a wonderful and touching story but i only realised that i've finished the book before when i reached chapter 4.

Spent all the money i had in my wallet on 3 dvds. There was this big sales going on so i couldn't resist checking it out. I found only 3 valuable treasures. Pirates of the Carribean : Dead Man's Chest, The Lookout & a oldie, West side story. This adds to the only collection i have which consists of Titanic and Penelope. Well, 5 down and thousands more to go!

I like my aimless yet peaceful life for now.

Candy for the eyes

I just spent 2 days at home, watching dvds and reading books. I absolutely love such a life. If only weekdays wouldn't come and i wouldn't have to think about school stuffs when monday hits me in the face. I haven't completed the dress that is due tomorrow even when mine's the easiest one to complete amongst the class. I suck.

Okay, to make myself happier, i looked up my eye candies.

Here are the stars (4 great actresses 1 singer) that i'd love to date.

Anne Hathaway, Emma Watson, Kristen Stewart, Ellen Page, Ashley Tisdale.

Here are the guys i want to be.

Kevin Zegers, Shia Labeouf, Emile Hirsch,Robert Pattinson,Joseph Gordon Levitt.

Even when they're above 40, they look hotter than any woman i know.

Marcia Cross, Kate Winslet, Kate Beckinsale, Felicity Huffman, Cate Blanchett.

With so many beautiful people around, there are two thinks you think about.

1st - It's hard to deny angels' existence.

2nd - It's very hard not to feel depressed at the same time. hahah. Goodnight and have a nice day.

Carpe Diem

So, the word was used frequently in the movie Dead Poet's Society. I think that it's a very wonderful movie. Comedic and dramatic at the right times with a meaning to it. Robin Williams just made his way into my top actors list. Carpe Diem - Seize the Day. Yes i would like to live everyday of my life to the absolute fullest but well, i really don't know what to do. What should i do? What do i want to do?

I just finished watching Transamerica again for the 3rd time. Near perfect movie thanks to great performances by Felicity Huffman and Kevin Zegers. Every time i watch it, i can't help but feel very bitter about Felicity not winning an Oscar for that role. I just read an article that said that most Acadmy Voters recently admitted that they didnt watch Transamerica so they voted for Reese Witherspoon. Ohh fuck you people. To me, Felicity Huffman is every bit an award winning actress who deserves more.

Oscar Buzz

Yes, it's near. My favourite time of the year is coming, of course it's the time for Oscar Predictions. So, what/who are the frontrunners? Most of the movies i've not watched yet but i'm super eager to because they're supposed to be damn good!

Slumdog Millionaire, The curious case of Benjamin Button, Doubt, The Wrestler, The Changeling, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, The Dark Knight & Milk are all heading towards Oscar glory.

The big questions that are bothering me are :

Will The Dark Knight score big at the Oscar's? Or will Heath Ledger even get nominated?
No doubt about Dark Knight earning nominations in the technical sections but will it score a Best Picture Nomination? Well.... not really. The academy has never been much of a fan of such movies although it earned a huge buck in the theaters. As for Heath, the marvelous actor gave one of the most iconic performances ever as the Joker and i'd say a nomination in the Best Supporting category would be the very minimum. As for winning, the chances are very slim. Out of the actors/actresses that got a posthumus nomination, only Peter Finch won. Although i really hope the late Heath would get a trophy because he was one who could always give more.

Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road and The Reader.
When will Kate Winslet ever freaking get an Oscar? She has always been giving constantly applausable performances yet every time she gets nominated, some one-timer suddenly popular actress would just win. After the debate of which movie she would enter for Best Actress ( The academy would not allow 2 nominations in a category and if she enters for both, she would split her votes), Kate has decided to enter Revolutionary Road for Best Actress in a Leading Role. Although she is on every scene in The Reader, she has decided to go for Supporting in that movie. So, will she finally get her little man?

So, what are my choices?

Best Picture
-Slumdog Millionaire
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Revolutionary Road
-Milk
-Doubt

Best Actor
-Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
-Sean Penn, Milk
-Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Leonardo Dicaprio, Revolutionary Road
-Josh Brolin, W.

Best Actress
-Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road
-Anne Hathaway, Rachel getting Married
-Meryl Streep, Doubt
-Cate Blanchett, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Kristin Scott Thomas, I'ved loved you so long

Best Actor in a Supporting role
-Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
-James Franco, Milk
-Ralph Fiennes, The Reader
-Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
-Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder

Best Actress in a Supporting role
-Tilda Swinton, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Kate Winslet, The Reader
-Amy Adams, Doubt

thats all for now, more updates will come!

When you're asleep.

Life has been a blur lately. I can't remember what i did for the past week. I don't know why i'm doing the things i've been doing. It has been a rather aimless week for me. My sis just dropped out of Uni to go work at Campus Crusade. The pay is rather low there and there's no future in it. She says that it's where God is leading her to but i seriously think she is ruining her life. For a big spender like her, she's really insane to think she can be satisfied with just 1k per month. She is just going to shop and ask my mum to pay. It's not that i have no faith in her, i just know her too well. Plus, my dad is rather disappointed that no one in our house is ever going to get a degree before starting work. My mum says there are still the 3 of us. She must be crazy. By the time jlo get his degree, he will be 30 when he starts work. jle is still young and he's not the studying type and you think i'll get a degree? well, not before hearing this. I don't know why i'm saying all these also. Pointless. Damn stressed up. I'm so gonna run away from school. haha.

Imprinting, that's suppose to be it.

Rainy days are always so loveable. I didn't want to go to school today because it was such a great weather for sleep. Well, dragged myself up at 12 in the end. Went to chinatown to buy the necessary fabrics before heading to school. Spent the day in school finishing up a quarter of the dress. Rushed to amk hub to catch Quantam of Solace with the guys. Missed an hour plus of it but still thought the movie was so-so. Had dinner with mum before heading home.

There are many things i don't care about now. Should i be happy or should i be worried? Heck, i don't really care.

FICTION reality FANTASY.

The trip to Malaysia was not at all calming. It was somewhat rather nerve wrecking. More acnes for me and i pretty much spent my time walking around in the malls alone. All the clothes i bought were on impulse and i know that i'll probably not even wear some of them. Retail therapy.

Twilight Saga. I'm done reading it. The excitement, anticipation and alot of other feelings rushed through my emotions throughout the entire process of reading. I have to say, even after hours of completing the book, i'm still very much in the world of vampires, werewolves and.... immortals. I hate to go back into the real world, where pain was real and where disgusting humans lived. I don't want to go to school, i dont want to go anywhere. I just want to sit somewhere alone, read books and watch movies all day long. Hmm.... guess i've got to snap out of it.

Anyway, my aim is to collect all these DVDs as soon as possible.

Little Miss Sunshine
DreamGirls
Les Choristes
Transamerica
Mysterious Skin

and alot more that i can't remember now. Argh heck, just collect as many of them as i can. The love for movies is growing stronger for me.

Twilight

So, for the past 2 days, i've been too engrossed with a new discovery - a book( or should i say a few books ) . I bought twilight 3 days ago thinking that i'd read through it slowly in my mundane life. The next thing i know, i was thrown into a world of fantasy. I always had a thing for fantasies. Throw in some vampires, werewolves and hot blondes and i'm on board! Touted as the next "Harry Potter", Twilight is interesting in it's own way but it definitely is not as good as Harry Potter. However, it's still an interesting read. I didn't know it was so popular until i went back the next day wanting to purchase the second book. Times was out, so was popular. I panicked; I needed those books! So i ran around tampinese mall trying to locate a bookstore and found one, just opposite popular. San's bookshop. I've never been there before but heck, who cares? The counter was filled with New Moon and Eclipse and i was very happy.... until the lady at the counter said : "All these have already been reserved." "Oh no!" I thought to myself. I think the unhappiness showed on my face because the lady quickly responded. "Actually i still have one or two more of them here." My face lit up instantly. I bought both of them without asking the price. Happy as can be, i walked towards the carpark. Anyway, i've finished New Moon and is halfway through Eclipse. 1000+ pages in just 2 days. I'm rather proud.

I haven't been of a going-out mood for the past few days and i like it.

I dont want to grow up

For the past few months, i've lived life without worries. Well, i couldn't be bothered by them. I told myself to spend as much as i want, play as much as i want and be as wild as i can because i didn't want to be a mummy's boy. However, tonight i realised that i've neglected my mother alot. My mother is unlike any other mother; She doesn't have friends. So, i feel that as her son whom she gave most of her life away to, i should be nice to her and remind her how much i love her. Tonight will be the night that i have to start thinking again. Ever since "forever" hit me, i was afraid to think. I liked keeping my mind blank, caring about only trivial things that matters for as long as the life of a firefly. I'm afraid to think but i realised that i have to overcome that anyhow.

If i were given a choice, i'd roam the world with a sketchbook. I'd write random stuffs that i learn about from the different places in the world. Or i'd be a producer that produces movies that i like, movies about people's lives and the world with it's different complexities and beauty. I'd want to be an actor so that i can live the lives of others temporily. I really love movies, much more than i love clothes. Okay, that's all for today, i shall get back to reading my storybook. Speaking of which, it's been a long time since i finished reading a book. How can i forget about one of my favourite past times?

If you are free, take some time to watch the movies Mysterious Skin, The Lookout and Across the Universe. They are very off-stream movies but i find them really meaningful. Ohh yah, i have a favourite Actor now, his name is Joseph Gordon Levitt. He is one of the most incredible actors of our time. The level of depth he can acheive in portraying a character is simply outrageously good. I'm also very excited about The Reader and Revolutionary Road that's coming out and both starrs Kate Winslet. Okay, enough. Goodnight!

4 mins and 32 secs

Hi, i'm back. How are you? The very disgusting feeling is growing inside of me again. I refuse to finish my homework ; I'm too lazy. I refuse to play the dvds that i rented now because i just don't feel like watching them now. I refuse to go to sleep for fear that i may never wake up. I refuse to talk to someone because there isnt anyone to talk to. The only nice thing i can think about now is food. I'm going to starve myself to death.

If i were to climb up a stairs and fall back, will there be anyone to catch me?

The feeling of insecurity is a level of fear.

Loneliness is pushing me towards you.

My mum is currently watching a pervertic killer show and it's not helping me in my mood. Why do people kill themselves when they reach the end of the road in life? I can't bring myself to do that because i'm afraid of the start in another life. Ohh no, no more thinking about that. Arh shit, i'm driving myself crazy.

Take one, not two.

So, my internet doesn't always work. That's bad. These few days were filled with concentrated fun and partying. Yesterday was leonard's birthday. I'm rather lazy to describe what went on but i hope he had fun. Anyway today was rather boring and the feeling sucks. Shit man, how?